I found this lying on the rug in my bedroom in the morning today and I’ve not seen it before. All floors vacuumed, it was easy to see near the foot of the bed. This is a close up photo of it on my zabuton cushion. It brought a loving feeling with it as I’d picked it up and also very odd, the mystery. No one has left it behind that I know or was here.
I’ve had just a few cherished things like these I’d known and would alternate on my table, a dove pin, an angel with a halo, and a crucifix pendant with the body of Jesus. I also got a few things from my grandma but not this one and my family doesn’t recall it.
I see a flower in the center, glittering, maybe a rose. I think of my Great Grandma Rose I didn’t know well as she died when I was three and was also a pretty shy great grandma, my grandma (her daughter) who passed away last year and I’ve found near at times and well. I think of the pink roses in the gardens in Lebanon May Ziadeh writes of with tenderness in her poetry book, Fleurs de Reve, she was from a Maronite Catholic family, and the rose syrup she would’ve served with coffee on Tuesdays at her literary salon in Cairo, and the pink rosebuds I’ve bought just recently for tea, and then in May’s book, especially the ‘friendship flower’ she’d offer to a special friend, Sidonie Ripperger, written of by May in a prose-poem in the book after she’d given it to another friend who hadn’t appreciated her first, sadly.
There’s a Sidonie Ripperger listed online as having died in Manhattan, New York City, in 1921, (I was born and lived in Brooklyn, NYC). And this Sidonie Ripperger was born in 1871, no birthplace listed, so she would’ve been 40 yrs old when May published her book at 25 yrs old. There are other Rippergers from the period who died in the exact same county in Brooklyn where I grew up. And this second prose part of her book, ‘Intimate Pages’ had touched me most before finding this.
So, that is a lot to hold and yet it can all be whatever it is. Just these days, I’d found a better desire to meditate and pray like before sleep and a good habit, a view of Jesus that feels more personally relatable and like a friend, which came from all of this.
Well, I am grateful for the gift and these other things even in last night for me, as life isn’t always so fair or easy. I will rest now, listen to the pouring rain and thunder slowing down and share this kindness in words and the feeling too.
Earlier today: What Would They Say?