Yesterday I decided over plenty of time considering it all, that I would rather not pursue teaching yoga as a business and that I’ve been spreading my attention and energy on many separate things, more than I feel my best doing.
And while I feel I am very good at my particular focus of stress relief and relaxation-based yoga and meditation and have practiced and learned about these fields fully, it hasn’t felt right to continue as I was, considering the attention and plans I have, and hadn’t felt right for me to study the science of anatomy more thoroughly to be able to do private sessions as similar to physical therapy now.
Apart from the pretty large annual fee required of businesses in Massachusetts, which would add the needed pressure to be able to teach a lot more and most likely not only outdoors in the town (and the town eventually charges businesses a fee to reserve their days of outdoor time slots), I feel my heart and interest lies more fully in writing creatively and painting, and advancing in my knowledge of literature/art in this specialized way, rather than those separate skills or studies.
And finances aside, I’d continue this way anyway. I knew taking the course to be certified as a yoga teacher was right at the time; I felt I needed an organized program of study to complete apart from my own familiar field of writing and literature, to take a step away and then see how I might come back. But it also wasn’t an expensive course and I learned in the course intro that it would help me to be able to plan my own yoga practice sessions at home, and it really did. And I am still practicing yoga of course.
I studied literature (and philosophy) in college and earned a degree in English, and those interests have grown by writing this blog with so much enjoyment and also researching my favorite authors’ lives as a new practice and recalling different theories of literary criticism, poetic forms, schools of poetry, and movements in literature.
So I feel a great desire to simplify my daily life by first subtracting from my schedule, while not instantly adding in new work even in this field into my life right now/ today. And now I will rest awhile with the rain and a sky of such plum-blush to warm the heart. 🥰☔️
I revised the blog menu and improved it all, including the About page. I’m looking forward to working on my painting this week and attending a first time for me meeting of a local book club next week! I am also happy to work on my poetry book in progress, and it almost feels this book could be a pathway into my next writing project, yet I remain within my current projects now, and am happy there.
It didn’t feel like an emotional loss, or giving up with frustration, a waste of time, or financial loss with the yoga business change, but I’ve felt a relief of less activity welcomed, a burden lifted, and being able to not continue with a plan even if sometimes it’s an outside person’s natural way to appear disappointed upon hearing your change of plans.
My discomfort was feeling that people might believe I made up symptoms of COVID because I didn’t want to do the class all of a sudden and I felt that would be dishonest and a misunderstanding of me. I write of my experience also because I do not like misunderstandings in general, although they still can come, and then pass on by.
My results in this morning 😊🙏
The timing with the flu-like symptoms was interesting but also began at the start of autumn’s cooler season, and not centered on impulse or fear: I’d been considering this choice when I first started studying to teach yoga. And I am glad for the study.
Despite any indifferent or impersonal feelings that anyone listening may show about hearing of a change of plans or goal, I do feel that writers, artists, parents, or anyone with a passion, however great or small the task may feel to them, will know what it’s like to feel called to that work, as if “I would do this anyway.”