(I’d wanted to rewrite this as if in the moment and my words with the pictures)
On September 26, 2021, I wished through faith for your all your past pain and any present, to be sent into the earth and be transformed into something beautiful, so it wouldn’t burden you anymore. I felt this place near home welcomed me, a place in nature I’d not been so near before, as I set out my mat and moved and breathed. I hadn’t been feeling very physically strong in the side plank and had been pretty exhausted that week and was not giving myself rest awhile on, but I’d felt very held there—the little sounds of rustling, and the very curious sounds of a little chipmunk and a bird, moving with interest and curiosity. I had done this for you; my tears fell too, onto the mat, and the sun warmed me through. I’d done this for you and it was not until toward the end I’d realized I’d really needed this too. When I first got there, I thought I would guess the time based on the position of the sun in the sky, and usually being terrible at calculations like that, I was surprised to see I’d gotten it right at 2:30 pm. The forest near home that I’d not been this close to for long seemed so simple, to warm me without changing anything with its hands—and this spring was the most beautiful one I’d seen, so much blossoming and little plants I saw far off so full, but my greatest wish was your own truest happiness and love, and the sun in my photos shows its white shining wings.
Apr. 29, 2021
May 21, 2022